I don’t know about you, but change stinks.
I can’t even tell you how much I really REALLLLLY despise it.
Perhaps it is because I have spent a good portion of my young adult and adult years in a fluid state, never knowing when the next change was going to come, that I feel that way. I don’t know. But what I do know is that Change and I are NOT friends.
And this last year, well, this last year has been more UPHEAVAL than Change, or as I like to term it “Change on steroids” so trying to make sense of it has been challenging at best, and despairing at worst.
This week and the weeks ahead I am trying really hard to look at it in a different light. Change has never killed me, just really made my life a challenge. SO, since we have so many changes going on around here I decided instead to face them one by one and simply wait to see what happens.
You all know, if you are readers of The Welcoming House since last year, that my Handy Hubby lost his job out of the blue. Next was a new job in a new state, so we had to leave our house that was supposed to our “forever home” in MN and relocate to SD. Weeks later my mother’s health tanked and she moved in with us after a stressful February where she lost a good portion of her independence (and we added a special member of our family).
Later on in the year as I was still trying to adjust to new surroundings, I broke my foot, traveled around the country twice, and moved Grams back to the house in MN because she wanted a little more independence. ALL of this while running a successful business, home, teaching 3 kids for school, and trying to keep my head above water.
But recently a decision has been made for my mom to move closer to my baby sister in ND.
I have really struggled with this, mainly because I am not sure how to think or act with her farther away than a short trip and visit. She has been with us as a family for more than 8 years of my oldest daughter’s life, and all of my Littles short existence. We love having her near, love including her in family gatherings, love helping her, etc.
But part of me is also thrilled for my sister who is finally getting some special one on one time with our mom, both of whom need each other in a special way.
I just wish I could wrestle my emotions under control and Gibbs smack myself on the head.
It will not be bad, it will be good.
It will not be traumatic, it will be a blessing.
But because it is CHANGE, I am really wrestling with it.
The future has not always been kind to me, but certainly God has. I have never been abandoned, or left alone, instead my experience has been, in the darkest times my faith grows the quickest.
So as this change comes along, and I know she is in good hands, I am simply trying to lift my hands up and say “Lord, you take this. It is too heavy for me.”
Is there anything I can lift you up in prayer about? Something that seems too heavy for you to carry? I would be honored to stand beside you and lift you up to our heavenly Father.
Just comment and let me know.
Lets walk through it together.
Blessings to you and yours,
When my mom died 16 years ago we were going thru her things and I came across this and wrote it in my Bible. Dear God, give me the guidance to know when to hold on and when to let go and the grace to make the right decision with dignity. It has truly helped me.Little did she know. Vicky
That is absolutely beautiful, Vicky. I would treasure that as well. <3
Thanks for sharing that. <3