Â Â Okay, so this may be a little edgier for me than normal, but I just feel a great conviction to speak something that may trouble your heart. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, or make you feel guilty for the day…I just want to say something to you that may make you think twice before you open your mouth and say something.
Kurt and I have had a lot of lovely, and well-meaning, people come up to us in the last couple of days since we made our choice to adopt public, and immediately launch into stories of people they knew (or had heard of) who had done the same thing we are doing now, and got to the very end only to have the birth mom change her mind at the last minute and leave them with empty arms, and broken hearts. Then they have gone on to tell us in detail the concerns they have, or what happened after that, and I can honestly tell you there have been a few times I felt like a bucket of water was just dumped on my head. I am sorry to be so blunt, and I hope (again) I have not hurt you, but that is the truth of it. Kurt weathers most of these much better, being male and not personalizing things, but of the two of us, I would say my faith is just a titch stronger in this area.
Kurt is a man of faith, and often he can see things I don’t. In this circumstance I have had the blessing to have had all the conversations with our birth mom and heard her story and her situation.
Listen folks–thanks for your love and your outpouring of support. We are aware of the risks we are taking. I wish I could paint a picture for you of the painful journey this has been for both of us, for our marriage, and our daughter. I wish I could tell you in plain and simple words that every minute of every day we are hanging on that this is God’s plan not ours, and lifting the situation up to Him when we begin to be afraid.
I also wish I could ask you to, for just a minute before you speak, put in your mind the plight our birth mom is facing–alone, afraid, and facing a very very tough choice. I would hope your heart would swell with compassion, and all those horrible stories that we have heard, or seen on the news, or known from friends would take on a different face–one of mercy, and grace, and understanding.
Â Â We may get to the first week in March, see these babies born, and hear the heartbreaking words “I am going to keep them”. Do I believe in my heart that is going to happen? Absolutely not. I really dont. I believe this whole thing is something God has been preparing our hearts and marriage for for a very very long and painful time. But it could, and I see your point.
However, this is not about us.
This is about stepping in and taking the opportunity to pour a taste of God’s grace and mercy into a life that is broken and hurting, of binding someone’s wounds and offering them a cup of water.
It is about being the arms, and heart, and words of Jesus to someone in a very difficult position.
Â Â So, thank you for your love and your concern. Please please please let us live this out, pray fervently for us and for her, hold your breath and take a leap of faith with us. Some things in life are more important than the money you might lose, since that all belongs to God anyway. Kurt and I have been to the dark side and back–we will survive anything, and so will our marriage.
Very well put Heather. Just keep the faith and just keep remembering that God is in control and I am so glad he is. I’ll pray for you and Kurt and your daughter. You are always in my thoughts and prayers since we have reconnected. Love You Holly.
Thanks for sharing, Heather. I agree with all that you have written. Going through an adoption process is much like parenting your Anna. You trust and obey God as best you can and realize that most of it is out of your hands. That’s exactly the way it should be. It’s not easy. I’m proud of you.
Looking forward to the miracles YHWH has planned for you and your family.