How are you doing, friend? Are you caught up in the craziness that summer brings, with all its sunshine, and planting, and kid activities and life?
Or are you taking time to stop and breathe deeply, knowing today is a gift and will never come again?
Between our oldest daughter’s graduation, the 21st anniversary of the loss of our son, and just life in general I have been spending some time thinking deeply about where I spend my time, and what I spend it on.
And my friend, I have been very convicted about some of what I have been doing.
As a person who has many irons in the fire (ones I put there because I like to keep busy), I found I was doing a lot of things that were not necessarily productive…or good for me. One of those was spending a lot of time on social media just scrolling and reading.
With my disorder, my body is more affected than the average person by the frequencies that electronics put out…and I found in taking a 2 week break from it I was sleeping better, worrying less, and more grounded. After all, it can affect your thoughts and emotions as well, if you have not experienced that lately.
I knew what I really needed to do was get out into the sunshine more…..have more crazy dance parties with my twins who are growing up fast(can you believe they are NINE already?)….sit down for a cup of tea with my oldest who is jetting off to college in Virginia soon…and watch our garden grow. I knew what I needed to do was get my hands dirty in the dirt planting seeds, and watch a pot boil so I could time some cinnamon rhubarb jelly.
I needed to unplug.
And in doing so here was what I learned about myself.
Lesson one was: I have a tendency to worry about small things, and miss the big things. My mind is always active and always searching for answers or the best approach. But as a believer, that is not my job. My job is to call upon the Lord to carry my burdens, and rest that He is in control. Hard for worry and faith to coexist, and this was something that came up time and time again.
Lesson two was: I have a social media addiction. Or a “Have nothing else to do so lets take a break and sit on FB addiction”. I never really took that seriously until I removed the app from my phone, and then found myself picking up the phone at LEAST once an hour to check FB. Um…yeah. Not a good approach to living life to the fullest. And this is not a “I hate FB” rant….just an “I refuse to allow my life to slip away on social media” rant. When the time came that I stopped reaching for my phone so often (which actually took almost a week, you all. Eek.) I found myself more grounded, and settled…more thoughtful in a good way, and not so easily stressed (that has to do with my body’s reaction to the frequencies the devices put off, I found out).
So what am I doing with my time?
Starting a new Essential Oil Jewelry Line on Etsy with my girls. We have absolutely had the MOST fun creating pieces and laughing and talking together. Best idea I have had in a while (and if you know anything about me, you know I am full of ideas, hahahaha!) You can find it here if you want to check out how talented my awesome girls are.
Graduating my oldest kid and getting adjusted to thinking that she will soon no longer be here every day dancing around the kitchen, struggling with her latest higher math problem, or moaning over having to go weed the garden with me. Life is so so short, you all, and with kids, it passes in the blink of an eye.
Remodeling our downstairs bathroom after 8 years of staring at horrid rust colored walls. As only one of two rooms that have never been painted in this 120-year old house (because it was the last room the previous occupants did and wasnt horrid at the time) I left it alone. Now it is sleek, and gray/white, and ready for our company coming in a few short weeks. And I dont have to try to pretend it wasnt horrible before. Lol.
Digging in our shared garden, raising fat baby bunnies and loving on our big ones….working on finishing another book that has been waiting for 2 years to be finished…and learning how to live with the new normal that the MCAS disorder has handed me in life.
Its a new beginning. And a sobering wake up call to really LIVE life….
Heather and Girls…..